Introduction to Chris Farrell MLM Compensation Plan
Ahoy, matey! Today is Talk Like a Pirate Day, and if you have caught the Talk Like a Pirate Day spirit, you are probably reading this Chris Farrell Membership review in your best pirate voice, even if you are reading it silently. Even before I realized that today was Talk Like a Pirate Day, that is, before my brother Brian showed up at my door with a box full of donuts he had gotten free at Krispy Kreme in exchange for talking like a pirate, I already had different accents on my mind, but Brian showed up at just the right time to add a sugary, salty, scurvy-ridden touch to my Chris Farrell Membership review.
Krispy Kreme was only supposed to give Brian one donut for talking like a pirate. You only get a dozen donuts if you dress like a pirate; while Brian did not actually put together a pirate costume, he did drive a considerable distance to Krispy Kreme, and he did recite the soliloquy from Othello in which Iago describes his evil plan, and the employees and costumed pirates, with their skyrocketing blood sugar, were so impressed that Brian ended up with a dozen free donuts. He stopped by my place so we could eat enough of them to reduce the donut population to where it was safe to bring the box of donuts home without fear of his kids eating enough donuts to get hyper. As soon as Brian arrived at my house, he called his wife to brag about the loot, and she pointed out that Iago from Othello does not fit the strictest definition of a pirate, to which Brian replied that Iago is an unsavory character who has spent a lot of time on a ship, so it is close enough.
Brian is a big fan of Notebook Crazy, my multilevel marketing (MLM) review blog, which you are reading now. This warrants mention because I know enough about search engine optimization (SEO) to know that, while most of you came to this page for the express purpose of reading MLM reviews, and perhaps even specifically a Chris Farrell Membership review, there are at least a few of you for whom finding this page was simply a pleasant but unexpected result of Googling “invest in Bradonium,” “Pythagoras at Paisley Park,” “quadruple crown diamond barf,” “best Internet troll names,” or “is Iago a pirate.” Because of Brian’s great esteem for this blog, he was as happy to find me at work on a new MLM review as I was to see him at my door with a dozen donuts.
I told Brian about an interesting trend I had discovered in the Chris Farrell Membership reviews I read in preparation for writing this Chris Farrell Membership review, namely that a disproportionate number of authors of Chris Farrell Membership reviews and of comments in the comments sections of said reviews say that a strong selling point for the Chris Farrell Membership products (which are training videos about online marketing) is the fact that Chris Farrell speaks with an English accent. American female commenters seemed to find Farrell’s accent dreamy, while British commenters rallied around it with nationalistic pride. Before Brian showed up with the donuts, I had planned to make the introduction to this Chris Farrell Membership review focus on the respective marketability of British and American accents. When I told this to Brian, he told me more than I had ever wanted to know about the various sound shifts in the history of the English language. He recited Iago’s speech the way it would have sounded in Shakespeare’s time (it was incomprehensible) and said that that was how 17th century English pirates probably sounded, but that he had used modernized pronunciation at Krispy Kreme, because if he hadn’t, no one would have recognized that he was speaking English, much less given him enough free donuts to keep me going for the duration of this Chris Farrell Membership review.
It’s a good thing Brian showed up when he did, too, because my research on British and American accents was not turning up much of anything interesting. I wanted to write about the phenomenon of British singers, especially during the British Invasion era, singing in American accents, since I have been writing about classic rock since Talk Like a Pirate Day was nothing more than an inside joke between John “Ol’ Chumbucket” Baur and Mark “Cap’nSlappy” Summers of Albany, Oregon, which is nowhere near the Midwest. (The phenomenon of British singers singing in American accents is not limited to the British Invasion era; even Adele does not sound especially British when she sings.) I Googled “British invasion bands American accent,” but that turned up nothing interested, so I tried “Mick Jagger British invasion vowels,” but that wasn’t much better. My personal theory, which I was hoping the Internet would confirm, was that, when British rockers of the 60s were recording coverings of American songs, they would consciously or unconsciously imitate the singing style of the artists whose songs they were covering, such as Chuck Berry, Muddy Waters, Buddy Holly, and Little Richard, but that, as they started to write their own songs, they started to sing with an accent that most closely resembled their speaking voices. Instead, I found everyone from dialect coaches to random Internet commenters saying that the American accent is a neutral accent. I’m not sure I buy it. (Brian points out that there is not just one American accent, just as there is not just one British accent, and that our very own Midwestern accent was given pride of place in the early days of radio and television.)
I was disappointed because people who blog about rock music usually do it with a feverishly nerdy thoroughness. Sure, I found a lot of nice articles about the rise and fall of British invasion pop, how it indirectly inspired a generation of American artists to play in musical genres untarnished by British pop influences, and how British music only started to get really, really interesting after British acts had ceased to dominate the American pop charts. Those articles are fun, but I didn’t find what I was hoping to find. I hoped to discover that, at some point before Obama took office and before Google dominated the Internet, some nerd had lovingly catalogued every vowel sung by every Beatle on every record, attributing the pronunciation of each word either to the singer’s native Liverpudlian accent or to one or another musical influence. I guess I got my hopes up, because somewhere in cyberspace there is an ancient website in which the author catalogues every “anomaly” (defined as a mistake or technical glitch) on every song in the Beatles’ discography. I wanted someone to draw the conclusion that, when John and Yoko got together, he picked up her un-British accent and Paul started sounding more English in protest. I wanted someone to say that George’s accent doesn’t vary at all from one song to another. Or something. Old generation Internet, you let me down. (Fun fact: Wakko’s voice on Animaniacs was inspired by Ringo Starr’s speaking voice.)
Chris Farrell Membership: The Company and Its Products
Here at Notebook Crazy, I am on a quest to review every MLM company in existence. Recently, I have run across a lot of business tools MLMs, and most of them are real stinkers, full of low quality products and ridiculously expensive upsells. In contrast to most of the business tools MLMs I have reviewed this month, the Chris Farrell Membership business opportunity really isn’t bad. It isn’t very expensive, and it does not put a lot of pressure on you to keep recruiting or invest greater and greater amounts of money for some minute chance of your business finally becoming profitable.
Chris Farrell Membership products are training videos and online training courses designed to teach you the basics of online marketing. And I do mean basics. One of the gripes that the Chris Farrell Membership reviews I read mentioned is that the Chris Farrell Membership website does not contain any advanced level videos or even any intermediate level videos. If you do not have any background in online marketing, it is certainly helpful to learn the basics. But here’s the thing. It is quite easy to find information on basic online marketing. You can make more money from very basic Internet marketing than you can from selling overpriced vitamin supplements, but Chris Farrell Membership products will not teach you everything you need to know to build a self-sustaining online marketing business.
The Chris Farrell Membership Compensation Plan
There does not seem to be a Chris Farrell Membership compensation plan document, not freely available from the Chris Farrell Membership website and not posted online by current or former affiliates of the Chris Farrell Membership business opportunity. I see this as a good thing, when considered in combination with the fact that the Chris Farrell Membership website and the Chris Farrell Membership reviews do not say anything about a requirement to recruit other members. This makes me think that the Chris Farrell Membership business opportunity may not be a full-fledged MLM at all. It seems more like it is just a website that sells mediocre training videos for OK prices. For this reason, it does not deserve my vitriol. In a market economy, people have the right to sell products, and supply and demand can decide how much is a reasonable price to pay for them. It sounds like the information in Chris Farrell’s videos is basic enough that you shouldn’t have to pay for it, but at least he isn’t telling you that the way to make money is to pressure your relatives to sell crummy products at extortionate prices for your benefit.
Advantages and Disadvantages
- Online marketing is legitimately a worthwhile thing to learn about.
- Even if Chris Farrell Membership products were complete fluff, they are at least intangible fluff, which means that, unlike costume jewelry, plankton smoothies, and holographic placebo patches (I’m not kidding, read my other reviews), they cannot take up space in your basement.
- As other Chris Farrell Membership reviewers have pointed out, Chris Farrell Membership products do not emphasize SEO nearly enough, if they even mention it at all. In my opinion, as in the opinion of many successful Internet marketers, SEO is a key, if not the key, to success in Internet marketing. I have said numerous times here on Notebook Crazy that it wasn’t MLM that gave me financial freedom; it was SEO. SEO is a complicated enough field that my SEO-related jokes here on Notebook Crazy don’t really do it justice. There is more to SEO than simply making your website contain more occurrences of the phrase “quadruple crown diamond barf” than other people’s sites, although that is certainly part of it. If you are considering spending money to join an MLM opportunity, I strongly recommend taking an SEO course instead.
- Beyond the lack of SEO training, the Chris Farrell Membership reviewers agree that the advice in many of Chris Farrell’s videos is outdated.
- I guess Chris Farrell’s English accent is OK, but I am still partial to my own Midwestern accent.
- The Chris Farrell Membership website advertises “done for you websites.” Ready-made websites, at least of the kind you can buy from business tools MLMs, are not a sound strategy for Internet marketing.
Fun fact: The word “puking” appears in one of Shakespeare’s plays. If you are resourceful enough to find out which one, then you can reasonably quickly, and free of charge, learn as much about online marketing as you could learn from Chris Farrell Membership products. Being successful at online marketing requires constant learning and research, and to get really good at it, it is worthwhile to pay for training, but there are much more detailed and sophisticated training programs out there than Chris Farrell Membership products.
I may not be able to plunder a Krispy Kreme using only my voice like my brother can, but I am quite an engaging conversationalist in my own right. Schedule a call with me, and see for yourself.