Introduction to Healthy Headie MLM Compensation Plan
Yeah, I’ve tried weed. One out of every three Americans has. You were probably assuming that I had since I have waxed eloquent so many times on this blog about the Pink Floyd planetarium show that changed my life, and because I can hardly contain my enthusiasm for junk food and for sitting on my keister all winter. I promise it isn’t like that, though. I only tried it a few times in college and a few times at the first of my series of menial jobs after I dropped out. I was a weed virgin at the Pink Floyd planetarium show that inspired my classic rock blog, thank you very much, and so, I can assume, were more than half the people in attendance.
See, I am not a pothead, and I don’t think I could ever be one. I have lots of great pleasures in life, but weed just isn’t one of them. I really enjoy music, movies, pool parties, fishing, camping, food, entrepreneurship, the list could go on and on. Weed doesn’t even make the top ten. In the few times I tried it, weed never made me into a better version of myself. It didn’t make me a better conversationalist. It didn’t make me a better fisherman. It didn’t make me a better student, and it certainly didn’t help me toward my goal of becoming the world’s most knowledgeable college dropout. The one and only time I smoked weed before playing Paintball, it made me a terrible shot. Going to Steak and Shake after pothead Paintball, however, was awesome.
I don’t mean to knock weed. Some people really find it enjoyable and helpful. For their sake, I am as happy as anyone about the new marijuana laws that have come into effect in recent years. I also think that it benefits no one in society for so many people to have to walk around with a criminal record attached to their name when all they did was smoke a cigarette that makes them want to eat more instead of less.
Anyway, I hope none of you are shocked to read the above paragraphs. I guess that is what makes the journey fun. That was my intention. That is what makes my quest to review every multilevel marketing (MLM) campaign fun. If I spent every post just talking about training materials and commissions on downline sales, I would get really burned out (no pun intended) really quickly. In case you have not been following me on my quest, and you just ended up on this page because you Google “what percent of the people at a Pink Floyd planetarium show smoke weed”, I will tell you what’s going on. (By the way. If you did Google “what percent of the people at a Pink Floyd planetarium show smoke weed” and it took you to this page, that should be enough to convince you that long tail keywords for SEO really are a thing.) I am Brad, blogger, entrepreneur, lover of road trips and classic rock, hater of boring 9 to 5 jobs and bogus nutritional advice. I am here to guide you through the miasma that is the multilevel marketing scene so that you can decide which MLM company, if any, might be your ticket to financial freedom. This winter, since it is too cold to do anything else, I am searching the Internet for credible information about MLM companies, their products, and the business opportunities they offer.
If you arrived at this site because you were looking for fun pothead stories to read until you get off work and can light up again, then one MLM company stands head and shoulders above the rest. This one is for you, bud buddies of the world. This is my Healthy Headie review.
Healthy Headie: The Company and Its Products
Just the fact that Healthy Headie exists is refreshing on so many levels. So many MLM companies are almost exactly like each other. In a previous review, I named no fewer than six MLM companies that had utterly generic names and whose products were almost as generic. Five of the companies had names that started with the same letter, and they all sold nutraceuticals, which are, hands down, my least favorite kind of MLM merchandise, probably because so many of my years on the MLM scene have been marred by a monthly influx of boxes of nutraceuticals being autoshipped to my basement. The only way to tell these nutraceuticals apart was by their flagship ingredient. Some of them hang their fate on you being able to convince your marks warm list that the reason they are overweight is that they do not drink enough plankton, while others want you to make a convincing case about why your neighbors should be drinking goji berry juice, while others think that you can make it look like fun to swallow aloe vera gel. At least Healthy Headie doesn’t sell the same old nutraceuticals with just enough cannabis dust to make them green.
The company was founded in 2013 by Holly Alberti and Steve Green. It is, as far as I know, the only MLM company devoted to the sale of cannabis accessories. Healthy Headie products include vaporizers, storage jars, and accessories ranging from room deodorizers (Kushey Odor Eliminator is a very clever name) to accessories that must really be for connoisseurs because, even after reading the descriptions, I still can’t figure out what they do. If I were a pothead, I would buy something called Scoop Dogg just because of the name, even though I can’t figure out how or why I am supposed to operate it. Healthy Headie even sells something called the Magical Butter Botanical Extractor which, based on the description, sounds like it is a machine for extracting cannabis oil. I would imagine that it would be one of their best sellers because, based on what little I have read about medical cannabis, for people who really do use cannabis to manage medical conditions, the oil is the most practical form in which to ingest it.
Lest you think that any 16-year-old who is curious about how Pink Floyd’s The Wall is really supposed to sound is just a few clicks away from all the paraphernalia he can charge on his parents’ credit card, the Healthy Headie site does mention a few details about the measures it takes to make sure that customers do not violate the law by obtaining its products. A disclaimer at the bottom of the Healthy Headie website says that customers purchasing Healthy Headie products must submit proof of age (21 or older), and in many instances, they require a medical referral.
The Healthy Headie Compensation Plan
Healthy Headie distributes its products through direct sales. The Healthy Headie website explains that the in-home sales model for products gives customers privacy that they would not have at the smoke shop. Its business model includes in-home consultations and product demonstrations. “In-home product demonstrations” sounds like a euphemism for sales parties, but you have to admit that almost the only way to make a Tupperware party fun is if there are bongs in place of Tupperware. There is a certain type of person who will want to walk out of a Healthy Headie sales party with a new bong, but I have a hard time believing that there is anyone on this planet who wants to walk out of a Forever Green sales party with a case of plankton juice or who wants to walk out of an Ardyss sales party with a new foundation garment. I can imagine that the social climate at Healthy Headie parties is better, too. I can’t imagine people who are easily offended hosting parties that center around cannabis paraphernalia.
The bad news is that, beyond the fact that it does direct sales, I could not really find any details about the Healthy Headie compensation plan. I don’t know if you can get bonuses for signing customers on autoship. (Who autoships bongs, anyway?) I don’t know if there are leadership levels. If there are leadership levels, I don’t know what their names are, so I will have to make some up. I will call them Seed, Bud, Cheshire Cat, Wiz Khalifa, William S. Burroughs, Furthur, Snoop Dogg, Cheech, Chong, and Bob Marley.
Advantages and Disadvantages
- Healthy Headie doesn’t preach about how cannabis is healthy or how it is fun. It doesn’t take on the role of the rebellious kid in school who tries to tell you that you’re a conformist if you don’t get high behind the gym with him. People who visit the Healthy Headie site or shop online for the kinds of products it sells already have their reasons for using them. It doesn’t need to preach to the choir. It knows its audience, and it delivers them something they can use.
- I can’t believe I’m saying this, given how much I detest MLM home parties, but if you’re in the right frame of mind, Healthy Headie product demonstrations actually might be kind of fun. It’s hard to barf when you have the munchies.
- A basement full of what would have been known just five short years ago as drug paraphernalia is a much better conversation piece than a basement full of vitamin supplements and cosmetics.
- Points for originality, and then more points for originality.
- The Healthy Headie website offers few details about the Healthy Headie compensation plan. The FAQ page does not even contain any questions pertaining to the company’s direct sales business model. Therefore, I cannot be sure how, if at all, Healthy Headie can help you, the distributor, improve your financial situation.
- I don’t particularly care for the spelling of the word “Headie”. I think “Healthy Heady Lifestyle” sounds more optimistic and less cutesy. Besides, the word “heady” is in the dictionary, while “headie” is not.
- Unless there are many more habitual cannabis users out there, I would imagine that there are only so many vaporizers and cannabis storage jars that a person can sell. It stands to reason that a vaporizer or cannabis oil extractor would last a long time. I know that weed tends to make people forgetful, so it wouldn’t surprise me terribly if someone somewhere left a Magical Butter Botanical Extractor in the parking lot of IHOP, but I can’t imagine that happening more than once.
- When you hear the words “direct sales”, you can almost always safely assume that the merchandise is overpriced. I don’t know what the going price is for cannabis storage jars or what makes them different from any other storage jars, but I would be willing to bet that you can find something much less expensive at Hobby Lobby that would be an acceptable substitute.
The world needs more women like Holly Alberti, who realize that not all women want to sell meal replacement shakes, makeup, and handbags. Holly Alberti, if you are reading this, I salute you. You are an inspiration to MLM women everywhere. Healthy Headie isn’t for everyone, but it is a recognizable niche market that sells things that some people really want to use or even need. It is a viable business idea, which is a rare and valuable thing in the world of MLM.
Healthy Headie looks like it is a lot more serious about business than almost any other MLM company I have reviewed, and it also looks like it is a whole lot more fun, and I say this as a confirmed non-pothead, someone who has never enjoyed smoking marijuana (except maybe that moment of stepping into Steak and Shake after the Paintball game) and does not intend to do it again. I guess it just goes to show that the best way to know how to take advantage of an opportunity is to know what it feels like not to have it. I salute you, Healthy Headie Lifestyle. You will probably never have me as a customer, but you do have my respect.
If you have come to hate MLM home parties and nutraceuticals as much as I do, and if you share my feeling that there has to be a better we, schedule a call with me, and I will give you my advice.