Introduction to JUSURU MLM Compensation Plan
If my dog Floyd could talk, I am sure he would say that he has a pretty good life. When I first saw him at the Humane Society four years ago, it was love at first sight, and we have been inseparable ever since. I know I have devoted a lot of time on this site to writing about how much I enjoy sitting on my keister at home in the winter, but the part that I have not told you yet is that, no matter how cold it is outside, no matter how close I am to winning a video game battle, and no matter what kind of groundbreaking information I have just discovered in my endless quest for details about all the various companies in the multilevel marketing (MLM) industry, as soon as Floyd comes prancing down the stairs with his leash in his mouth, I jump up and take him for a walk. The fact that the other Brad, who runs this website with me, was able to convince me to make a bet with him to do as much exercise as I have this winter says a lot about our friendship, but Floyd doesn’t even need to promise me free garlic knots to get me to put on my snow boots and go for a walk with him; he only has to wag his tail. Floyd had been with me on almost every road trip I have taken in the last four years.
When I think about it, Floyd doesn’t ask for much. I feed him dog food and dog biscuits, I take him for walks and let him run around and dig in the yard. I take him for car rides and bring him with me to bring my friends and relatives. I rub his belly and scratch him behind his ears. He keeps me company while I do research in the basement, and he is happy. Sure, it took some effort to train him when he was a puppy, but he is pretty low maintenance. What he really wants is my friendship. And that is what your dog wants, too.
I was reading today about the most spoiled dogs in the world, and I couldn’t help but think that they have it pretty good, but not better than Floyd. Sure, these dogs have a good relationship with their humans, but so do your dog and my dog. I read about dogs that inherited millions of dollars and huge mansions. I read about dogs that get thousands of dollars’ worth of grooming each year and dogs that fly on private jets. All those other things that rich people give to their dogs don’t really matter to dogs. Floyd is as comfortable sitting with me on the couch in my basement as Tinkerbell was sitting in Paris Hilton’s purse at photo shoots. Whether you pay thousands of dollars to buy your dog from a breeder or adopt him from the Humane Society, he is just happy to go home. Dogs have no sense of money. They do have a sense of social status, though, and if you want to read about that, I recommend that you read the website of Cesar Millan, better known as TV’s Dog Whisperer. Essentially, your dog needs to know that you are the boss, and you can do that no matter how many or how few resources you have.
And, yes, dogs do eat vitamins. Floyd ingests vitamins every day in the amounts recommended by veterinarians, and so does your dog. Almost all commercially produced dog foods are fortified with the vitamins and minerals that dogs need. Nutritional needs vary according to the dog’s age, size, and breed, but so do dog foods, and if you are not sure which food to feed your dog, just ask your vet. Most of the time, there is no reason to feed your dog vitamin supplements.
But nothing is ever that simple where the MLM industry is involved, so if you have ever read Notebook Crazy or any other MLM review blog, you can probably guess where this is going. If you have never read an MLM blog before and only ended up on this page because you Googled “man’s best friend sit on keister,” then I’m sorry, my friend, but you are in for an unpleasant surprise. The MLM industry has been known to sink to depths approaching the Mariana Trench to get people to feel insecure enough to buy overpriced but mostly useless nutraceuticals, but while making people feel insecure about their paunch while dangling vitamin supplements in front of their faces and promising a quick fix is just business as usual in the MLM industry, making people feel guilty about their pooch’s paunch while dangling vitamin supplements in front of their faces and promising a quick fix is a whole new low. I would be speechless if anything could leave me speechless anymore after reviewing so many MLM companies. (For those of you who just ended up on this blog by accident while Googling cuddly doggie stories, that is what this blog is about. It is my quest to review all the MLM companies I can find. If I followed the principle of “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all”, this blog would not even exist.) I am horrified, and I am impressed, so I shall begin my Jusuru review thusly: Jusuru, I salute you, and I challenge you to a duel.
Jusuru: The Company and Its Products
Jusuru sells a product line of BioCell health drinks which contain a liquid form of collagen, as well as a number of “super fruits”. When you have reviewed enough MLM nutraceutical companies, the first thing you ask yourself when you find a new company is “What is the secret ingredient?” In the case of Jusuru’sBioCell health drinks, one such ingredient, a compound which is found in red wine and which, according to the Jusuru review on the blog Lazy Man and Money, constitutes one version of the “French Paradox” urban legend. (For those of you who are so blissfully innocent that you spend all your time reading feel good pet stories on the Internet and don’t even seek out questionable weight loss advice, the French Paradox goes something like this: Why does France have lower obesity rates than the U.S., if the French smoke so many cigarettes, drink so much wine, and eat so many pastries?) As the indefatigable Lazy Man pointed out in his Jusuru review, Jusuru’s claim that BioCell health drinks have X amount more resveratrol than red wine is baseless, because the amount of resveratrol in red wine varies widely from one type of red wine to another.
After reading about so many MLM companies, that doesn’t really surprise me. An MLM company that wants you to drink collagen is no weirder than one that wants you to drink plankton, and an MLM company that wants you to hand over the big bucks to ingest the resveratrol of red wine without the sensuality or the drunken fun is no weirder than an MLM company that sells you expensive nicotine patches with all of the patch and none of the nicotine. But that is not what makes Jusuru stand out in my mind. No matter how many MLM companies I review, Jusuru will go down in Notebook Crazy history as the company that wants to sell BioCell health drinks for dogs, cats, and horses.
Now, we can debate endlessly about whose fault it is that people get themselves deep into debt buying overpriced nutritional supplements based on dubious claims, but we can at least agree that every person who has a basement full of nutraceutical supplements and no more available credit and is not a pound lighter than the day he or she first signed up for autoship at least got started with MLM by his or her own choice. Your dog, cat, or horse is not pressuring you into buying vitamin supplements for it. Furthermore, if you notice that the supplements make you feel weird, you can just stop taking them. Since animals cannot talk, and since nutritional needs vary among dogs, you might not know that the supplements are having a negative effect on your pet until it is very sick. Again, points for originality, but don’t mess with pets. MLM companies can strain our friendships with asinine home sales parties and make our parents want to write us out of their will, and we keep coming back for more, but trying to make us insecure about our pets’ health so that your upline distributors can benefit? That I cannot abide.
The Jusuru Compensation Plan
The Jusuru website offers precious few details about the Jusuru compensation plan. Everything I could find out about the Jusuru compensation plan I found out from reading other Jusuru reviews. The Jusuru compensation plan includes the following opportunities to earn money:
- Retail sales – According to one Jusuru review, the profit you make on the sale of Jusuru products is 35%.
- Preferred Customer Bonuses – People who buy Jusuru products on autoship, whether they are Jusuru distributors or just autoship customers, receive a discount on Jusuru products.
- Three for Free – This is a bonus you get when you sign up three autoship customers.
- Team Commissions – You can earn a commission of up to 10% based on the sales of your downline team.
- Elite Leadership Bonuses- These are bonuses that you receive when you get promoted to a new rank in the company.
- Check-Math Bonuses – These bonuses are reserved for Jusuru distributors at the higher leadership levels, and they can reach as much as 25% of the sale made by your downline team.
- Luxury Car Bonuses – At certain high levels of leadership, Jusuru will make payments on a luxury car for you, however, there is a catch, as Lazy Man pointed out in his Jusuru review. If you do not maintain your rank (such as by not replacing downline members when they drop out, as most of them inevitably do), the car loan is still in your name, so you are still responsible for the payments.
- Dream Pool – When you reach a very high level in the company, you are eligible for a share of the Dream Pool, which is equal to 1% of the whole company’s sales.
- Enterprise Pool – At the highest levels of leadership, you are eligible for a share of the Enterprise Pool, which is equal to 2% of the whole company’s sales.
Advantages and Disadvantages
- Someone probably did try to cheer themselves up by looking for feel good pet stories online, and I probably brightened that person’s day. The companionship of a pet does at least as much to improve a bad mood as overpriced vitamins do, so I hope my reminiscences have encouraged someone to go to the Humane Society or a local animal rescue shelter and come home with a new best friend.
- If you have money to spend in pursuit of resveratrol, why not just drink red wine? There is romance in drinking red wine with the one you love, such as there is not in drinking BioCell health drinks with your beloved. If you are a lonely misanthrope who does not love anyone, red wine is still the better choice, because at least you can get drunk.
- A nutraceutical MLM company does not have to do much to get on my bad side, but when you start pointing your bogus health claims at my pal Floyd, that is where I draw the line.
Certainly your warm market has better things to do than drink collagen at top shelf vodka prices. If you want to stay young, go for a walk with your dog, instead. It will do more to improve your health than tangling with Jusuru will, and it will be better for your finances.
In case you were wondering, Floyd is a mutt. I’m convinced he is part golden lab, though, because he has a golden lab personality. If you want to trade stories about the pets you adopted from a shelter, schedule a call with me today.