Introduction to Bioceutica MLM Compensation Plan
It is no secret by now that I am no fan of nutraceuticals, those products that are not really food and not really medicine and are sold to you with promises that they will keep you looking and feeling young and thin. Over the course of my still ongoing quest to review as many multilevel marketing (MLM) business opportunities as possible, I have grumbled about the nutraceutical industry in almost every way imaginable, so today I think I will express my dissatisfaction with the nutraceutical industry by taking a moment to celebrate some of the people who have lived to be really old.
The oldest person alive today is Susannah Mushatt Jones of New York. She was born in Alabama in 1899. Her parents worked as sharecroppers, and one of her grandparents was born in slavery. Susannah’s first career aspiration was to become a teacher, and she was accepted to the Teacher’s Program at Tuskegee Institute, but she did not attend, because she could not afford the tuition. Instead, she moved to New York, where the Harlem Renaissance was just beginning. She made a living by providing child care for the children of wealthy families, and she used her earnings to help many of her relatives move to New York as well as to establish a college scholarship fund for students who had graduated from her high school. At the age of 116, she does take a multivitamin every day. She also eats bacon at breakfast every day.
The longest verified human lifespan belonged to Jeanne Calment of France, who lived 122 years. While she lived a comparatively leisurely life, she stayed young through the constant pursuit of new activities. She learned the sport of fencing when she was in her 80s, and she became famous when she was over 100 years old, since it was discovered that, as a young teenager, Jeanne had met Vincent van Gogh when he was a customer in her uncle’s shop. When journalists asked her to describe Van Gogh, she described him as ugly and disagreeable, along with a few other choice words.
Marie-Louise Meilleur of Canada lived 117 years. She continued to smoke tobacco until she was over 90 years old. The great majority of supercentenarians (people who live over 110 years) are women, and most of them either do not have any children or only have one child. (Susannah Mushatt Jones does not have children, and Jeanne Calment had one daughter.) Marie-Louise Meilleur, however, had ten children from two marriages.
The United States has been home to more supercentenarians than any other country in the world, followed by Japan. Other countries that have been home to more than their fair share of supercentenarians include the United Kingdom, France, and Italy. In terms of eating habits, the world’s supercentenarians are a diverse bunch. Every time an MLM representative tells you that the secret to a long life is (insert name of fad ingredient here), you can easily point to the supercentenarian of your choice who lived 110 years or more without ever going near this supposedly indispensable fad ingredient.
The number of supercentenarians in the world is increasing every year, but I think the number of MLM nutraceutical companies is currently higher, so onward with our MLM review of the day, the Bioceutica review.
Bioceutica: The Company and Its Products
Okay, fasten your seatbelts. This is a little bit more complicated than your average nutraceutical MLM company story. The company now known as Bioceutica was first founded under the name Ideal Health, and it distinguished itself from all the other numerous nutraceutical multilevel marketing (MLM) companies by something even more unique than by having a standout product like a plankton cooler or a shiny sticker that allegedly cures your aches and pains. Ideal Health had a ready answer to the challenge that there is not a one size fits all solution in terms of nutrition. It didn’t just sell you vitamins with buzzwords like “brain” and “metabolism”. Before you even ordered any vitamin supplements from Ideal Health, it would give you a testing kit (which is now sold by Bioceutica under the name PrivaTest), where you would collect a urine sample and send it to Ideal Health for analysis in the lab. It would send you the test results with a recommendation of what kinds of supplements you needed.
Like so many companies that operate under an MLM business model, Ideal Health eventually ran into financial trouble, and it was eventually bought by Donald Trump, who renamed it the Trump network. Other Bioceutica reviewers have pointed out that Trump cannot seem to resist naming things after himself, but this is not just any other MLM review blog. This is Notebook Crazy, where you can read about reptiles and rock bands and cryptozoology and the history of coffee and the wager in which I bet my friend the other Brad, who runs this site with me, unlimited (within reason) diet Vernors until the summer solstice against a dinner of garlic knots at Oley’s Pizza, so you can bet that I have a more off the beaten path observation about Donald Trump’s naming conventions, but you will have to wait to read about it until we get to the part about the Bioceutica compensation plan. Trump sold the Trump Network in early 2012, and it now goes by the name Bioceutica and is run by MLM veteran Candace Keefe.
Of all the Bioceutica products, PrivaTest is still the one that stands out the most. Bioceutica offers a product line called Custom Essentials, which are nutritional supplements recommended for you based on the results of your PrivaTest. PrivaTest does not actually test for levels of certain vitamins (that would require a blood test), but rather, its results are used to draw conclusions about your nutritional needs based on the levels of certain metabolic markers in your urine. These metabolic markers include asymmetric dimethylarginine (ADMA), sulphates, and deoxyguanosine. Of course, not everyone is going to pay for a urine test and customized vitamins. Thus, Bioceutica also offers Prime Essentials, a line of non-customized multivitamins.
There are several other product lines in the complete inventory of Bioceutica products. There is Silhouette Metareset, which includes the usual meal replacement shakes, as well as something called an energizer spray. Intuitiv and Luminous are skin care products, the former geared toward anti-aging.
The Bioceutica Compensation Plan
Now that you have made it to my discussion of the Bioceutica compensation plan, I will tell you what I have observed about Donald Trump’s taste in names. I have reviewed quite a few MLM companies ever since I saw The Big Short at Christmas, and it made me mad enough to actually do something, so I have learned a thing or two in the process. There are a few things I think about when I set out to review an MLM company, and I wish I could show them to you in flowchart form, but I am way too lazy to format a flowchart right now, so prose will have to do. First question: Does this MLM company sell nutraceuticals? If yes, blurgh. If no, what does it sell? If it does sell nutraceuticals, what is its flagship ingredient? Previous answers include everything from aloe, bee pollen, and goji berry juice to the color red, fewer vitamins than you get from a cheap supermarket multivitamin, and plankton. Yes, plankton, as in the stuff that gets eaten by the fish that get eaten by the fish that get eaten by the fish that get eaten by you. Regardless of whether the MLM companies sell nutraceuticals and regardless of whether those nutraceuticals have a flagship ingredient, the next question I ask is whether the MLM company asks you to distribute its products through home sales parties. If yes, quadruple crown diamond barf. (A possible exception to that conclusion is Healthy Headie’s MLM sales parties, where Healthy Headie distributors sell bongs. I am no one’s pothead, but even I have to admit that those parties kind of sound like fun.) My next question is this: what are the names of the leadership levels in the MLM company.
Most MLM companies have pretty boring names for their leadership levels, things that Bronze, Silver, Gold, Ruby, Emerald, Sapphire, Diamond, Blue Diamond, Crown Diamond, and the like. The leadership levels in the Bioceutica compensation plan, however, are Manager, District Manager, Area Manager, District Director, Area Director, and Regional Director. Those are even more boring than the bronze, silver, and gold leadership levels, right? Well, listen to the leadership levels of ACN, another MLM company that owes its existence to Donald Trump, are Executive Team Trainer, Team Coordinator, and Regional Vice President. Does anyone else notice something about these names? Bronze, silver, and gold may be played out leadership level names in the MLM industry, but at least there is still an element of wish fulfillment about them. Donald Trump’s MLM leadership level names, however, sound no different from the position titles at the boring job that has driven you to look for alternatives in MLM in the first place. You can be a Manager at Steak and Shake. Maybe you already are. If you are, you can probably just eat free Steak and Shake food until you are full instead of having to impoverish yourself by getting it autoshipped to you regardless of whether you have finished the previous shipment.
The Bioceutica compensation plan pays downline commissions up to four levels deep. That means that if Adam recruits Beau, Beau recruits Cameron, Cameron recruits Dylan, and Dylan recruits Eustace, Adam can earn commissions based on all of their sales. If Eustace recruits Fletcher, then Beau can earn commissions on Fletcher’s sales, but Adam cannot.
A recent change for the worse about the Bioceutica compensation plan (recent as of January 2016) is that Bioceutica distributors are now required to have Bioceutica products autoshipped to them in order to maintain their active status as Bioceutica distributors, whereas this requirement did not exist as recently as the end of last year. If you have ever dealt with a nutraceutical MLM company before, you probably cringed when you read that sentence, because your basement is probably still full of unsold vitamin supplements from all those required autoship supplements.
Advantages and Disadvantages
- Offering a test of metabolic markers does stand out from the crowd. I do not know enough about medicine to know how accurate such a test is in diagnosing vitamin deficiencies, but at least it is better than just trying to talk you into buying vitamin supplements from just another MLM company.
- For all the times that the name of the Bioceutica company itself has changed names, it is high time its leadership levels got some new names, some that don’t sound like the position titles of the people who make you miserable at your retail job by sending customers to “secret shop” you and then sending a report to your store manager complaining that you folded the shirts in thirds instead of in half, or that you started your phone greeting with “hello” instead of “good morning”.
- Despite the uniqueness of PrivaTest, Bioceutica is still a nutraceutical MLM company, so I am still not impressed.
- I do give Bioceutica credit for resisting the autoship requirement for so long, but now that it is required, that should be a signal for you to run in the opposite direction.
Maybe I am a bit biased, but nutraceuticals just don’t do it for me. If you want a business opportunity that involves interpreting the results of lab tests, it would be a better investment to go to school to be a medical assistant. Yes, tuition costs money, but it costs a finite amount of money, so once it is paid off, it is paid off. It is not an endless cycle of autoship.
If you want to talk about business opportunities that do not involve boring position titles like District Manager, schedule a call with me.