Introduction to Eqology MLM Compensation Plan
I was always the kind of kid who liked to read. Before I was old enough for it to be a worthwhile investment of time for my dad to teach me how to play Risk: The Game of World Domination, and long before I embarked to my quest to become the world’s most knowledgeable college dropout, and ages before I started on my current quest, the quest to sit on my keister and review multilevel marketing (MLM) business opportunities until the weather is warm enough to play Paintball (or maybe even longer, since it is looking like there are a lot more MLM companies out there than I originally realized), my parents used to take my brothers and me to the public library to pick out books. I am the oldest, so before my youngest brother Bryce knew how to read, I used to impress him with my ability to sound out the words on the pages. In those days, almost every evening after Bryce was in bed, one or the other of my parents would read part of a chapter book to my middle brother Brian and me. By far, of all the subjects that written language has ever addressed, my favorite subject was Norse mythology. (If you have been reading Notebook Crazy, you may have been able to guess that, based on the fact that I once referred to the state of Florida, the land of belligerents in pursuit of eternal youth, the land of more species of aquatic serpents than you want to think about, as MLM Valhalla.)
Sometimes my brothers and I would pretend to be Vikings when we played in our back yard, but then, there are certain parts of the Midwest where almost all young boys spend part of their free time pretending to be Vikings. Even though the Midwest has some frightening thunderstorms, I always thought they were cool, because they made me think of Thor with his hammer, showing all the goats and deer that munched on the World Tree Yggdrasil who was boss. (My dog Skoll did not see it that way; the slightest sound of thunder would always turn him into a helpless puppy for the duration of the thunderstorm.) In elementary school, when we were supposed to be quiet and do our work, but I felt like goofing off, I would be quiet and draw sketches of Thor fighting the world serpent Jormundgandr or of the wargs chasing the sun and moon across the sky. I read the Lord of the Rings trilogy freshman year of high school, and then I reread it shortly after I dropped out of college. It was the first thing I read to get my brain back into the mindset of reading for enjoyment. I had one of the books in that series in my backpack when I met Trevor, my co-worker at Wendy’s who for a time was my fellow traveler in the journey of the knowledgeable drop-out.
But all of that was a long time ago. For better or worse, I have devoted a lot of my energy in the last eight years to thinking about money. You probably have, too, and that is probably how you ended up on this blog. (There is always a chance that you ended up on this blog because you Googled “super-fruit beauty queen”, “snake skink Boris the Spider”, or “quadruple crown diamond barf”, but that is a story for another day.) I realized that many of us spend years of our existence in an activity that is not very different from chasing our tails, but unlike Jormungandr, who, according to Norse mythology, will bring about the end of the world if he stops biting his tail, and unlike your dog, who will stop chasing his tail if you give him tricyclic antidepressants, you do not need to keep going in circles in pursuit of money. If you have ever dealt with the MLM industry, you have probably felt like you were going nowhere, and most of the time you really are going nowhere. The purpose of my current quest is to try to find the MLM business opportunities where you actually have a chance of making a decent amount of money, among the sea of MLM companies where your efforts really are futile. That is what brings us to our Eqology review.
Eqology: The Company and Its Products
When I first find out which MLM company I will be reviewing for my next review, the first thing I do is try to figure out, based on the company’s name, what kind of products it sells. For example, it makes perfect sense that Discovery Toys sells educational toys. (It is debatable whether any toy manufactured with the purpose of being educational can truly teach you as much as you can learn from attacking your brother’s imaginary Viking ship in the backyard, but that is a story for a different day.) Other times, you can’t actually tell what the company sells just by looking at the name, but when you find out what it sells, it kind of makes sense. For example, you probably couldn’t guess what Agel sells, but if I told you that it sells vitamin gel, you would never forget, so that name is still an effective bit of branding. Likewise, Gano Excel sounds like it could sell anything, but once you find out that it sells coffee laced with Ganoderma fungus, you won’t necessarily want to drink it, but at least you will know which company to stay away from. Unfortunately, there are lots and lots of MLM companies out there with perfectly nondescript names, like Genesis Pure and Forever Green, and it seems that Eqology falls into this category.
The next step in writing my Eqology review, or any MLM review, for that matter, is to find out whether the company sells nutraceuticals, and if so, blurgh. It is almost pointless to go into what I do if I find out that the MLM company does not sell nutraceuticals, because that happens so rarely that I am not even sure I remember. When I get over my disappointment about the whole nutraceuticals thing, I check to see whether the nutraceutical products at the center of the MLM business opportunity in question have a flagship ingredient, such as chia seeds or bee pollen or aloe or goji berry juice or the aforementioned Ganoderma fungus or (I kid you not) a proprietary blend of frankincense and plankton.
I guess I should start my discussion of the Eqology products by saying that Eqology is based in Norway. It was this discovery that made me think back to my childhood of borrowing books about Norse mythology from the library, spending summer afternoons attacking my brother’s pretend Viking ship, and filling my boring school days with doodles of the wargs, Hati and Skoll (the latter being the namesake of our family pet), the cosmic wolves whose job it was to chase the sun and the moon across the sky so that the calendar never got out of sync with itself.
There is a distinctly Nordic vibe running through the ingredient lists of the Eqology products, a bit like when you read about those restaurants in Norway (or perhaps Sweden or even Iceland, I can’t remember) that serve a menu full of lingonberries and elk medallions, to the exclusion of the olive oil and eggplant that you find at more tropical latitudes. If I had to nominate one of the ingredients in the Eqology products as the flagship ingredient, it would have to be fish collagen. Eqology has an entire line of collagen products that supposedly slow the aging process. Now, I wouldn’t mind using some sort of collagen lotion that might make my skin look younger, but Eqology sells its fish collagen in sachets that you mix with water and drink. No, thanks. I do not want to drink fish collagen, thank you very much.
And from there the list of Eqology products starts to sound more and more like every other nutraceutical MLM company out there. There are vitamin supplement drinks made with super-fruits from every corner of the earth, from Miss Amazon the acai fruit to Miss Scandinavia herself the bilberry. Once you get to the ginseng drink the ingredients start to sound farther and farther afield of Scandinavia. And of course there are protein bars, meal replacement shakes, and stuff that is supposedly good for your immune system. But then there is something called EQ PureArctic Oil. EQ PureArctic Oil is made from cod caught off the coast of Norway, along with olive oil from the other extremity of the EU, and it tastes a lot more like lemon than like cod, which can only be a good thing for a nutritional supplement.
The Eqology Compensation Plan
One of the most fun parts of reviewing MLM companies is finding out what the leadership levels are called, and when that turns out to be a disappointment, thinking of my own names for them. Before I even read the Eqology compensation plan, I had named its leadership levels in my mind. If it were up to me, I would name the leadership levels of the Eqology compensation plan after the Nine Worlds of the World Tree Yggdrasil in Norse mythology: Helheimr, Muspellsheimr, Niflheimr, Vanaheimr, Jotunheimr, Midgardr, Svartalfheimr, Ljosalfheimr, and Asgardr. Alas, the leadership levels have much more mundane, MLM-flavored names: Business Partner, Team Leader, Director, Vice President, President, and Gold President. The fully detailed Eqology compensation plan is available online to read. All the product prices and commissions are listed in Euros; I am actually not even sure if the opportunity is available in the United States.
Eqology publishes brochures in a variety of languages: Danish, Dutch, English, Estonian, Finnish, German, Norwegian, and Swedish.
Advantages and Disadvantages
- For an MLM company based in a country where most people do not speak English as their first language, the information on the Eqology website about the Eqology products and Eqology compensation plan is extraordinarily well written. The only things that tipped me off to the fact that it was not a US company were that the prices on the Eqology compensation plan are listed in Euros, and the company’s address, listed at the bottom of the Eqology website, is in Norway.
- The opening paragraph of the official Eqology compensation plan tells you, in no uncertain terms, that it is easier to market Eqology products to your warm market than it is to advertise online or distribute print ads. I cringe every time I read something like that, and you probably do, too, if you have run off most of your friends and even a few family members by constantly trying to sell them nutraceuticals as part of your latest MLM business opportunity. I am almost surprised to see such a line of thinking on an MLM website in 2016; most of them will at least set you up with a retail website (for a price).
- Blurgh. I don’t want to drink fish collagen, and neither does anyone in your warm market.
For the amount of money you would have to spend to get your Eqology business off the ground, you might as well just take a trip to Norway. You would probably come back feeling more refreshed and have more usable insights about nutrition and business. I always say this when I review nutraceutical MLM companies, and I will say it again. For me to recommend an MLM business opportunity, the company really needs to stand out from the crowd, and Eqology doesn’t. In all likelihood, the Eqology business opportunity will just leave you with broken dreams and a basement full of fish collagen.
Yes, I know there is more than one way to spell Jormungandr. If you want to call me and argue about the preferred system of transliteration for the names of characters and places in Norse mythology, I am all ears. Schedule a call with me today.