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Evolv Health MLM Compensation Plan Review 2.0

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Introduction to Evolv Health MLM Compensation Plan

If you have ever visited our site before, or even if this is your first time visiting Notebook Crazy but you have been around on the multilevel marketing (MLM) scene, you know what we do here.  For the most part, we talk about products that make people feel young. My goal here on Notebook Crazy is to review as many MLM companies as I can in order to help you make the best decisions about which MLM companies are the most worthwhile investments of your time and effort or whether you should quit the MLM scene once and for all.  As any reviewer will tell you, your success with selling almost any MLM product, especially the ones in the overpopulated nutraceutical sector, depends on your ability to play on most people’s desire to look younger than they are, and eventually this Evolv Health review is going to end up being no different, but in true Notebook Crazy fashion, we first need to start it off right.  Nutraceuticals (vitamins, meal replacement shakes, etc.), are probably the most well represented type of product in the MLM world, but cosmetics are a close second, thanks to the presence of MLM giants like Avon and Mary Kay that deal in cosmetics.  My quest to review every MLM company out there has led me to research a lot of companies that deal in cosmetics, and every time I do, I start by giving a shout-out to a dude who made it cool for dudes to wear make-up.  This time, since I am reviewing an MLM company that capitalizes on people’s desire to appear younger than they are, I will start with a tribute to a man who made a lasting impression on the world through his ability to appear older than he was.

Philip Seymour Hoffman only lived 46 years.  I saw fit to pay tribute to him today in this, my Evolv Health review, because this coming week will mark the second anniversary of his death.  I am sure that, when he died, a lot of you were as surprised as I was to find out how young he was.  He seemed not to age at all from his first movies to his last ones; he seemed to exist perpetually at the far end of middle age.  Although Hoffman’s ability to embody so many different characters is certainly a sign of wisdom, he never played advancing age as though it were a relief.  He played a few carefree characters who seemed to exist outside time; I am thinking in particular of his pirate radio DJ in The Boat That Rocked.  Hoffman’s character “The Count” seemed never to have young, and therefore he did not have to fear losing his youth.  The youthful rebellion of rock music went through him, from the records to his rambunctious teenaged audience, without making him any older or younger.

Most of the Philip Seymour Hoffman movies I remember best, though, have him playing middle age as desperation, whether to comic or dramatic effect.  In Along Came Polly, he lets his desperation ruin a community theater production of Jesus Christ Superstar.  In Doubt, his character is a middle-aged priest who is old enough to know that trust and reputation are the only real resources you have, and then his life turns into a house-of-mirrors of rumors and speculation.  In Boogie Nights, the quiet desperation of his unrequited love shines through the noise and bright colors of the movie.  In The 25th Hour, a movie that trembles with dread and quiet sadness from opening titles to closing credits, Hoffman’s character is perhaps the most unsettling thing about the movie.  He is old enough to know that friendship is the only real resource you have, and the movie takes place the day before Hoffman’s character’s best friend goes to jail for what might as well be forever.

And if you have been involved with the MLM scene for any length of time, the Philip Seymour Hoffman movie you remember is Leap of Faith, in which Steve Martin, another actor notable for playing characters older than his own age, plays a phony faith healer.  Throughout the movie. Steve Martin’s character keeps saying that what he is doing is selling people hope.  How many times have you heard yourself say that when your parents or your kids ask you why you stick with MLM?  Philip Seymour Hoffman only has a minor role in Leap of Faith, but I encourage you to go find a screen shot of his character in that movie.  Now think about the fact that, when Leap of Faith was filmed, Philip Seymour Hoffman was not a day over twenty-five.

I have never acted or studied acting myself, but it would seem to me that to play all those different characters believably, you have to listen ten times as much as you speak.  A lot of MLM training materials will tell you to do the opposite, to just be as overbearing as you can, a fast talker who won’t let your audience get a word in edgewise and won’t let them slip away without buying a product.  Of course, you have dealt with the MLM industry long enough that you have to do your research before making big decisions, and that is why I now present to you this Evolv Health review.

Evolv Health: The Company and Its Products

Evolv

The Evolv Health company was founded in Dallas in 2009, by two guys named Trey and Brent with a business school background.  That means that it has made it through those critical first few years, but it still has a long way to go before it is able to provide that it has the longevity of the likes of Amway and Avon.

Evolv Health starts with a catchy slogan: H.O.P.E., which stands for “Help Other People Evolve.”  The Evolv Health website is full of inspiring pictures of high school graduates being awarded college scholarships and of children at a school somewhere in Africa.  The website puts you in a good mood.  It doesn’t immediately hold up a mirror to your flabby belly and your empty bank account.  The Evolv products have catchy names.  LifeBar is a meal replacement bar.  Evolv Fix and Evolv Fuel are vitamin powders that you add to drinks.  Evolv Limitless are supplements taken in capsule form.  One of them features a picture of a beet on the box, which may not make you healthier but will definitely put you in the mood to reread Jitterbug Perfume.  Evolv Glow is a line of bath products that aren’t even named after botanical perfume ingredients and therefore won’t give you your shopping for nice smelling things fix.  EvolvcPrime is a “fashion forward” (in the words of the Evolv Health website) wristband that improves your physically fitness just by being there, like a FitBit that doesn’t even bother to count your steps.  (For a completely useless fashion forward ensemble, wear it in combination with a CieAura patch, so you can have a FitBit without the pedometer and a nicotine patch without the nicotine.)  Of course there are Evolv Product reviews on the site, and (surprise, surprise) they are overwhelmingly positive.

The product descriptions of Evolv Limitless, EvolvcPrime, and the other Evolv products are sure to make you roll your eyes if you have tried your hand at making money with more than one MLM company.  They claim to reset your hormones, improve your immune system, turn your body into a fat burner, the usual.  They claim to do the same thing that all those other boxes of unsold MLM merchandise taking up space in your basement claim to do. The only one of the Evolv products weird enough to stand out is the EvolvcPrime wristband, the placebo equivalent if a FitBit.  Another Evolv Health review I read mentioned that Evolv products are not as overpriced as some other nutritional supplements sold by MLM companies, but their prices are not listed on the Evolv Health website, and certainly they are not less expensive than your share of the vitamins from your extreme couponing aunt’s Costco haul, and they cannot possibly cost less than wearing a scrunchie around your wrist.  You might argue that a scrunchie is less fashion forward than the EvolvcPrime, to which I reply that 90s nostalgia is all the rage these days.

The Evolv Health Compensation Plan

And now we come to the part of our Evolv Health review that deals with the Evolv Health compensation plan.  I should start by saying that Evolv Health has a binary model of network marketing, which means that you are required to maintain two separate “legs” of downline distributors.  That means that if Adam recruits Ignatius, Ignatius recruits Julius, Julius recruits Kai, and Kai recruits Luke, Adam’s work is not done yet, because Adam still has to go and recruit Malcolm and then stay on his case until he recruits other people.  I say that the binary model of network marketing is for the birds, or pretty much any bipedal creature that isn’t me.

That said, these are the various opportunities that Evolv Health offers for its members to make money:

  • Retail sales – The greater your sales volume, the greater your percentage of profit. When your sales volume is less than $1,000, your commission on sales is 5%, and then it goes up from there.
  • One Two Free – Every time you enroll three new autoship customers, you get your products auto-shipped to you free. Autoship is when you have a standing order of products get shipped to you every month and charged to your credit card.  It is a fast route to maxed out credit cards and a basement full of unsold MLM merchandise.
  • Fast Start Bonus – When someone in your downline exceeds certain sales goals in their first few months of membership, you are eligible for this bonus.
  • Team commissions – This is where my issue with the binary system lies. Evolv Health, like so many other MLM companies, pays commissions on the sales of your downline team, but the pay a percentage of the sales of the weaker leg.  In Evolv’s case, it is ten percent.  That means that, continuing the above example, Ignatius, Julius, Kai, and Luke (Adam’s “right” leg) sell $2,000 of merchandise in a month, but Malcolm (Adam’s “left” leg), sells $700, Adam’s commission is $70.  You probably wonder while I’m complaining about making $70 off of work that someone else did, but you will understand when your basement is piled high with unsold vitamin supplements.

Then there are the bonuses that no one you have ever met or will ever meet actually gets, the leadership pool bonus, the payments on luxury cars, the usual.

Advantages and Disadvantages

Advantages

  • My experiences with MLM have shown me that no two people’s placebo receptors are located in the same part of their bodies. If you can find the network of people whose placebo receptors are in their wrists (let’s hope they have a Facebook group), you may be able to sell them some EvolvcPrime.
  • Thinking about the beets in Evolv Limitless really does make me want to reread Jitterbug Perfume.

Disadvantages

  • The binary thing makes me want to stomp my left foot in anger every time I read about it.
  • Don’t fall for those promises about the leadership pool bonuses. Steve Martin’s character in Leap of Faith may have sold hope, but the hope he sold cost a lot less than the years of autoshipand broken friendships it would take to qualify for any of those leadership pool bonuses with Evolv Health or any other MLM company.

Conclusion

The world needs more versatile character actors, not more loudmouth phonies who keep trying to convince you, at the top of their lungs, that youth and vitality can be bought in the form of a beverage or a protein bar.  There is nothing to make Evolv products or the Evolv Health compensation plan warrant your investment any more than any of the other numerous nutraceutical MLM companies out there.

I apologize if this Evolv Health review was a downer.  I really do have lots of ideas about how to make money through MLM.  If you want to hear them, give me a call.

 

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