Introduction to Exfuze MLM Compensation Plan
Welcome to the next phase of my quest to review every multi-level marketing (MLM) company known to man. If you have just stumbled onto this page (perhaps by Googling “organic vegetables belligerent planetarium”, “lazy lasagna”, “Teenage Mutant Ninja Tortoises”, the ever popular “quadruple crown diamond barf”, or any of the other search terms that will lead you here), you have reached Notebook Crazy, where you will find my honest assessments of all the MLM business opportunities out there, without all the hype about how, if you just click on this page, you will be as rich as a Petsuchos. You have arrived just in time for my eXfuze review. eXfuze is headquartered in Palm Beach Gardens, Florida, so before I get into the substance of my eXfuze review, I feel compelled to say a few words about its Urheimat.
I can’t quite decide whether southern Florida (it really isn’t fair to single out Palm Beach Gardens) is MLM heaven or MLM hell. On the surface, it is full of things that the more unscrupulous of MLM recruiters project images of on the screen behind them in the auditorium as they tell you, with plainspoken bluster, how each of them was once a schlub like you, sitting on his keister in a basement full of unsold vitamin supplements, painfully aware of their approaching expiration date. Now he lives in Florida, where he spends his days sunbathing on the deck of his boat, and not only is he not haunted by a basement full of soon to expire vitamin supplements, but he doesn’t even have a basement, since it is nearly impossible to build them in Florida, where the ground is made of limestone. But then, when you look below the surface, you discover that South Florida is more like MLM hell. Mr. Platinum Leadership Bonus still owes lots of back child support, even though his children are now grown up, and he now has a grandfather. Mr. Platinum Leadership Bonus smiles at you with blindingly white teeth, impossibly well positioned, the result of lots of cosmetic dentistry, his balding head freckled with the aftereffects of sunburn, but if you don’t join his downline team, he is one missed mortgage payment away from foreclosure.
No, South Florida is more like the MLM Elysian Fields, or perhaps MLM Valhalla. To get there, you first have to think outside the traditional framework of what you have been taught about good and evil. When you are there, you will encounter all kinds of weird creatures that have escaped there and made it their home, the cockroaches the size of your palm, the iguanas and anoles. Anoles are what Floridians call “front yard lizards”, but to people from any other state, the idea of having any lizards in your front yard at all is terrifying, let alone having so many different kinds that one of them is considered the normal kind. You can go swimming anytime you want, but don’t be surprised to find an alligator swimming beside you. You can always eat lunch in the park, but the seagulls and ducks do not fear you and will think nothing of stealing the French fries or the pizza right out of your hand.
South Florida is only for people who despise the 9 to 5 rat race and look for exciting, impractical, glamorous, and risky ways of making money the way that Valhalla is only for warriors. The only way to get anywhere is by reckless driving. The only way to dress is to wear as little as possible. The only ways to make money are modeling, real estate, and the weight loss and fitness industry. And that is why MLM companies have adapted to the climate of Florida the way that the anoles and the iguanas, the melaleuca trees and the water hyacinths, and the armadillos and the nutria have. (Nutria are those South Florida rats that are so big that New York City’s own pizza rat would run away from them in terror.) Everything you do is futile, and that is all the more reason to do it. You sunbathe in the morning, but by 3:00 in the afternoon, you are running for cover from a thunderstorm that sounds like all the warriors in Valhalla rattling their spears, but you go out and sunbathe again the next morning. You can buy a new boat in the spring, but by Labor Day, hurricane force winds will have picked it up and deposited it on the other side of I-95, but the next spring you buy a new one. South Florida is about doing the same thing again and again, even if you know it cannot possibly end well. If you saw The Big Short, you probably left the movie theater with a feeling of dread in the pit of your stomach, but I think we can agree that the most disturbing part of the movie was the part that took place in Miami, where the stripper had adjustable rate mortgages on five houses and a condo, and the bubble-headed real estate agent denied, in the presence of the nerdy guys from the finance sector who had seen the numbers themselves, that there was anything wrong with the housing market.
In South Florida, the message gets blasted in your face every day and night that everyone wants to be young and thin at any cost, so you enroll in autoship for another nutritional supplement, even though the last autoshipped vitamins from the last MLM company are still languishing in your guest bedroom. (You don’t have a basement; this is Florida.) Everyone you know any everyone on TV whispers in your ear, like a feral boa constrictor, that the only way to make any amount of money is to capitalize on other people’s delusions, so you go about trying to build your two legs of downline for your latest MLM scheme, even though, last time, you left a lot of people responsible for big debts and bigger canisters of overpriced protein powder, and most of them are still holding a grudge. You call your ex-wife and promise her that she will be rich if this MLM opportunity pans out, if only you can use her credit card for the autoship, and she believes you, like last time. Warriors get wounded in Valhalla, but they’re always feeling up to attending the banquet by nightfall, and come morning, they’re out on the battlefield, ready to get wounded again.
It is out of South Florida, the Valhalla of multi-level marketing, that eXfuze has emerged. So now, without further ado, I present you this eXfuze review.
eXfuze: The Company and Its Products
The eXfuze company was founded by Don and Rick Cotton, brothers who got the idea to start a nutritional supplement company when, according to the eXfuze website, they used nutritional supplements to help their father recover from advanced liver disease. I have reviewed a lot of MLM companies that deal in nutritional supplements, and aside from the dramatic origin story and the distinctly Floridian vibe of the eXfuze website, there does not really seem to be anything that stands out from the crowd.
eXfuze products run the gamut of the usual vitamin supplements, energy drinks, wellness water, mutant coffee, and big promises. eXfuse Seven is the company’s line of nutraceutical beverages. You can choose from eXfuse Seven classic, eXfuse Seven pro-formance, and eXfuse Seven premium focus. This is Florida; you’re not a noob in the world of MLM. I’ll let you guess what you are supposed to tell people when trying to get them to buy these things. I must say, though, the bottles are pretty, and the use of the word “botanical” in the product description has a certain effect on people who have been to Florida, so if you are trying to sell eXfuse Seven in the Sunshine State itself, you may be onto something. There is a certain smell in the air in Florida, especially during the citrus growing season (November through April), an hour after sunset, where the sea breeze mixes with the night blooming jasmine. It is enough to make you forget the sleaze, the credit card debt, the broken dreams, the noisy sales pitches, and the increasingly desperate quest for eternal youth.
GreenZilla at least has a memorable name, but its ingredients are even more memorable. It is a powder that you add to drinking water, and its main ingredients are algae and blue-green algae. You are an extraordinary salesperson, and I salute you, if you can make people pay money to drink algae.
eXfuze Compensation Plan
The first good thing that stands out to me about the eXfuze compensation plan is how neato it looks on the eXfuse website. Its various opportunities for earning money into “fast track”, “midterm earnings”, and “long term earnings”. It says through layout what it would never dare to say in words, but you, O warriors of MLM Valhalla, have been here long enough to read between the lines. The fast track earnings are the parts of the eXfuze compensation plan that you actually have a chance of obtaining. They are things like retail profits, commissions on downline sales, and bonuses for signing up customers for autoship (even if these customers do not become eXfuze distributors themselves). The midterm earnings are things like the Fast Start Match Bonus and the Binary Team Bonus. You can probably still get them, but they are negligible amounts of money for the amount of work you have to put in before you can get them. The long term earnings are the kinds of things that Mr. Platinum Leadership Bonus trumpets about at the MLM seminar in Palm Beach but has never actually seen with his own eyes, the car payments and bonus pools.
The first negative that comes to my mind about the eXfuze compensation plan is the binary structure. Every eXfuze distributor must divide his or her downline into two teams. The two legs of teams, usually called the right leg and the left leg, are a common occurrence in MLM, but that doesn’t mean they are a welcome one. Likewise, alligators in the canal behind your house in Florida are not too unusual, but that doesn’t mean that you look forward to seeing them. Binary structure is so insidious because your bonuses and commissions tend to be based on the left leg, the one with lower sales. The good news about eXfuze is that it lets you decide which downline distributor, and even which autoship customers, you assign to which leg.
Advantages and Disadvantages
- There actually are people out there who will drink algae if you can convince them it will make them more physically fit. The other Brad, the co-founder of Notebook Crazy, is one of such people; he has not ingested a carb since 1998. I have seen this phenomenon with my own eyes. We spent a week in New Orleans for an MLM convention, and we spent almost every waking moment together, certainly every meal, and I could not convince him to eat a single beignet, praline, or King cake, but I wouldn’t put it past him to drink algae.
- The binary structure of eXfuze is preferable to some other MLM companies’ binary structures, because it also counts customers, not just downline sellers, and because you the eXfuze distributor have more freedom to make the two legs as equal as possible.
- As an eXfuze distributor, it is easy to make your own eXfuze website.
- ShapeWay protein powder is so overpriced that people rag on it in reviews of other MLM companies.
You can probably tell by now that nutraceuticals leave me cold, and I am definitely not a fan of the right leg left leg thing, but there are worse MLM companies you can join than eXfuze. It is supportive of Internet sales and social media promotions, and it gives you a considerable amount of freedom to build your teams. If you have yet to learn your lesson about MLM and you know someone who wants to drink algae, go for it.
Now that you know what I think about Florida, would you like to know what I think about how to make money in MLM? Give me a call today.