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It Works! Global MLM Compensation Plan Review 2.0

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Introduction to It Works! Global MLM Compensation Plan

Welcome back to my quest to review every MLM company about which I can find information.  If you are just joining us for the first time, welcome to Notebook Crazy.  I am Brad, and I am on a quest to present reviews of as many multilevel marketing (MLM) companies as I can, because if you live anywhere near the Midwest, you probably have relatives or coworkers or Facebook friends that you went to high school with bombarding you with requests to buy products or, worse, to attend allegedly fun parties.  Once you get enough of these requests, you start to realize that they sound like ready-made emails copied and pasted from MLM training materials.  Another reason I am on my MLM review quest is that you, being a discerning person, set about researching the company to which your friends and relatives are asking you to contribute money before you give an answer, but most of the time all you find are glowing reviews that sound like they could have been copied and pasted from MLM training materials, too.  That is why Notebook Crazy is not like the rest.  Here, we mention specific advantages and disadvantages of each MLM business opportunity we review.  We are also the only MLM review site to offer a ready-made response to any and all invitations to MLM home parties: quadruple crown diamond barf.  If anyone invites you to a special event at their home that revolves around MLM merchandise, you are welcome to copy the phrase “quadruple crown diamond barf” directly from this page and paste it into a response to your friend’s email.  You’re welcome.

Of course, that is not the only thing that has been going on this winter.  If it were up to me, I would sit here and research MLM business opportunities until the swimming pools open for the summer, but somehow I ended up getting into a conversation with the other Brad, who runs this site with me, about exercise and fitness.  It is not surprising that we ended up on this subject for two reasons, the first of which is obvious to anyone who has ever messed with MLM, and the second being that exercise is the other Brad’s absolute favorite way to spend time.  One thing led to another, and we ended up making a bet that I would run a certain number of miles by the spring equinox.  He bet me a pizza dinner (with all the garlic knots I can eat) at Oley’s Pizza in Fort Wayne against a three months’ supply of diet Vernors, and if things continue as they have been, it looks like the other Brad is set to win the bet.  If you have any tips or words of encouragement for me, I would love to hear them, or else it looks like I will be paying for my own garlic knots on the spring equinox.

It isn’t that I don’t enjoy running.  It is actually a lot of fun when your mind and the music connect with each other and you forget all about your feet.  It is just that I cannot tear myself away from my research on MLM business opportunities.  There are so many of them, and each one is weirder than the last.  This weirdness most often manifests itself when it comes to the MLM companies that are related to the health and fitness industry.  There are MLM companies that have you sell pills and drinks made with a signature ingredient (goji berries, aloe vera, a proprietary combination of frankincense and plankton, etc.), and MLM companies that would have you sell ordinary vitamins like you would find at the supermarket, except that, in the MLM world, they come with a hefty price tag.  And then there are the ones that it is impossible to market unless you have boundless chutzpah and the world’s smallest capacity for embarrassment, either because implying that your warm market (“warm market” being an MLM euphemism for “people you know personally”) needs these things (the body shaping undergarments of Ardyss) or because the products themselves are so utterly ridiculous (those CieAura patches that are essentially shiny Band-Aids, or that awful Amega magic wand thing that supposedly makes your cytoplasm do interpretive dance).  Every time I sit down to do MLM research, I think I’ve seen it all, and then my clicks lead me to something like It Works.  It appears that, once again, the foolish world of MLM has managed to outdo itself.  Ladies and gentlemen of Notebook Crazy, I present to you my It Works review.

It Works: The Company and Its Products

itworks

With a name like It Works, this company could be selling almost anything, so I had no idea what to expect when I set about doing research for me It Works review.  It turns out that the flagship product of It Works is officially named the It Works Ultimate Body Applicator, but even the company itself refers to it as “that crazy wrap thing”.  It is some kind of gel that you apply to your thighs, belly, or any other part of your body that appears flabbier than you would like it to appear.  After you apply the gel, you wrap the lime green Fab Wrap around it (the Fab Wrap looks like a cross between an ace bandage and a roll of paper towels, but it is rather a pretty color) and leave it on awhile, meanwhile drinking large quantities of water.  Supposedly, you can “lose inches” off of the chubby parts of your body by using the It Works Ultimate Body Applicator, but the results are temporary, so repeat applications are needed, hence the need to have a constant supply f It Works Ultimate Body Applicator sent to you on autoship.  Another It Works reviewer astutely raised the objection that, if you are going to spend so much money on something that temporarily makes you look thinner (the It Works Ultimate Body Applicator costs $59.99 on autoship and even more for a single shipment), you might as well go for a longer lasting solution like buying healthier food or hiring a personal trainer, and if you are going to spend 60 bucks on something that temporarily gives you a flatter belly, you might as well just buy a body shaping garment, which you can wear thousands of times after one payment.  (I will bet you anything that if any It Works distributors read the above sentence, they will accuse me of trying to lure their downline team into selling body shaping garments for Ardyss.)  I admit that the above rebuttal is not mine.  My rebuttal goes more like this: If it were that easy to make my floppy belly flatter, I would not spend all that time this winter running on the treadmill in the other Brad’s basement.  I would just apply a diet Vernors poultice to my midsection and go about my business of sitting on my keister and writing MLM reviews.  And if the results are temporary, even better.  I could just do my diet Vernors poultice treatment every time I had plans to see the other Brad; we never even would have had occasion to make this bet.  As soon as the other Brad was safely out of sight, my garlic knot gut could go back to its normal dimensions, and the other Brad would be none the wiser.

But of course no nutraceutical MLM company is ever content to hang its fortune on just one identifiable product.  It also has to have some of the usual suspects, as well, so other It Works products besides the It Works Ultimate Body Applicator include your boring old cleanses and essential oils.  I am not really sure why that is.  Maybe it is so that, when you have maxed out your credit cards having MLM merchandise shipped to your house and you can only afford to eat ramen noodles, you will at least have so multivitamins lying around so that you don’t die of rickets and scurvy.

The It Works Compensation Plan

The It Works compensation plan reads like an all-star revue of everything I hate about MLM compensation plans.  There is the recruiting lots of different legs of downline.  To qualify for the higher leadership levels, you need five different legs of downline.  The idea of recruiting five different legs of downline makes me think of getting a hug from a slimy squid, which probably is not too different from the sensation of an It Works Ultimate Body Applicator.  There is the rat race to continue ordering It Works products on autoship just to remain eligible to get paid commissions.

Advantages and Disadvantages

Advantages

  • There was an epic flame war in the comments section of an It Works review on the blog Lazy Man and money, between the author of the post, who criticized It Works, and an It Works distributor named Shannon, who ardently defended the product, which was pretty entertaining to read.
  • It Works products come in rather attractive packaging. The company is based in Palmetto, Florida, and other It Works reviewers have pointed out that the packaging of It Works products really does give off that MLM Valhalla vibe.
  • It Works distributors are called Wrapreneurs. Now that is an SEO friendly name.

Disadvantages

  • As several It Works reviewers have pointed out, the name It Works does not suit the product well. We have discussed MLM company names that do and do not have a direct relationship to their product, and I agree with the It Works reviewers who said that it would be better branding to name the company after something that has to do with wraps.  In a previous post, I gave the story of the name of the band Genesis as an example of how it is dangerous, from a business perspective, to give your product a name that connotes everything and nothing.  And let’s face it.  “It Works” just is not a very SEO friendly name.  The people of It Works need look no further than the pages of this very blog to find catchy, SEO friendly names that would sound just as good on MLM merchandise as they would on rock bands.
  • The fact that the It Works compensation plan emphasizes recruiting other It Works distributors more than it does the sale of It Works products, raises red flags for other reviewers, as it does for me.
  • There was an epic flame war in the comments section of an It Works review on the blog Lazy Man and money, between the author of the post, who criticized It Works, and an It Works distributor named Shannon, who ardently defended the product, which further confirmed my distaste for MLMs that claim to make people thinner.

Conclusion

I honestly do not know whether to laugh or cry.  How can there be so many MLM companies out there that sell such obviously bogus paths to health, wealthy, and beauty?  Are there really people out there for fall for all of these things?  After you had seen the goji berry juice fad give way to the Ok looking fungus coffee fad, which was then succeeded by the hologram Band-Aid fad and the plankton and frankincense cocktail fad, wouldn’t you run in the opposite direction when someone approached you with a lime green ace bandage and claimed that it would temporarily make you skinny?  It really is fun to read about just how many completely absurd nutraceutical products there are out there, but it is sad to think about people spending real money on having them autoshipped, when I know that the people who become It Works distributors or who get involved with MLM do not have unlimited resources, and that they could be spending their money in so many other ways that would do a lot more to improve their situation.

Hey, MLM veterans! Do you think that there is somewhere else besides Florida that is more deserving of the epithet “MLM Valhalla”?  If so, I would love to hear what it is, so schedule a call with me.

 

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