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Kyani MLM Compensation Plan Review 2.0


Introduction to Kyani MLM Compensation Plan

When I set out to do research for this, my Kyani review, I knew that I was going to learn new things, but I could not have predicted this.  First of all, I learned the etymology of a word I had been wondering about and a few that I had not been wondering about, but I will save that story for the part where I discuss the Kyani products.  What concerns us now is that my research for this Kyani review led to me finding out more than I had ever known about the Kamchatka Peninsula.

In the years leading up my research for this Kyani review, I had not thought very much about the Kamchatka Peninsula.  In fact, the last time I had thought about it was before I started my first business at age 25.  Since that time, the pile of unsold multilevel marketing (MLM) merchandise piled up in my basement has distracted me from thinking about pretty much anything else.  If you needed something to motivate you to get rid of all the boring but overpriced vitamin supplements and less boring but still expensive fungus coffee in your basement, the fact that it has taken up room in your mind that used to be reserved for idealism and intellectual curiosity should be reason enough.

You see, there used to be a time when the Kamchatka Peninsula was never very far from my mind.  That time started when I was in middle school, when my dad taught me to play Risk: The Game of World Domination.  In the subsequent years, many weekends and summer days were spent playing Risk with my brothers, the other Brad (my partner in running the Notebook Crazy site), and a rotating cast of friends, eventually including Trevor, my coworker at Wendy’s, who gave me the book Jitterbug Perfume by Tom Robbins.  If you have ever played Risk, you can probably guess where this is going.  Likewise, if you have ever played Risk or seen anyone else play it, and if you have read enough Notebook Crazy posts to know a bit about my friend the other Brad, the thought of him playing Risk probably surprises you.  The other Brad has a fitness model figure, owing in part to the fact that he has not ingested a carbohydrate (excluding beer on special occasions) since 1998, and he exudes confidence.  Other bloggers who reminisce about the days of their youth seem always to return to the point that the joy of Risk is lost on girls and that if Risk players could choose between playing Risk on a Friday night or actually going on a date, they would dump their faithful Risk buddies in a heartbeat, but I don’t completely agree.  It is true that everyone with whom I have ever played Risk, with the exception of my mother, has been male.  (To hear her tell the story, my parents even played Risk on more than one occasion while my mother was pregnant with me, but that is a story for another day.)  That said, I have met all kinds of people, first in my quest to become the world’s most knowledgeable college dropout, and second, in my numerous misadventures in the MLM industry, and among the “all kinds of people” I have met are plenty of female Risk players.  (In fact, one of the things that convinced me that it was time to drop out of college was that, in three semesters, no one showed the slightest bit of interest in playing Risk.)

If you have not played Risk before, I will tell you that the game of Risk takes the form of a battle for World Domination.  The game board depicts a map of the world, divided into six continents, with each continent further subdivided into categories, some of which are quite straightforward, such as “Western United States”, “India”, and “East Africa”, and others of which betray the game’s origins in 1959, such as “Siam”.  (One would think that, since so many editions of the game have been published over the years, one of them could have given that territory, which is the only Risk territory bordering the ridiculously easy to defend continent of Australia, a more contemporary name, such as “Southeast Asia”.)  Kamchatka is the northeastern-most territory on the Risk board, but is deceptively difficult to defend, as it shares borders with five other territories: Alaska, Irkutsk, Yakutsk, Mongolia, and Japan.

In real life, as on the Risk game board, the Kamchatka Peninsula is the easternmost part of Russia, across the Bering Strait from Alaska. In ancient times, it was sparsely populated, although its people had access to more plant-based foods than one would expect.  The climate of Kamchatka is milder than that of much of northeastern Russia.  The only snow-free months are the months of June to September, and even then, the temperatures never reach what we might call hot.  Even so, the winter temperatures are low enough to keep the snow from melting, but they are not the frostbite-inducing subzero temperatures that we find in other northern climates.  It is rather like a cold enough to snow version of the mild climates of Seattle and San Francisco.  One could even make the argument that the weather is worse here in the Midwest than it is in Kamchatka.  If Midwestern winters were more like Kamchatka winters, I might not be sitting on my keister in the basement right now as we speak.

You may recall that the United States acquired the territory that became the state of Alaska in 1867, in a move often referred to as “Seward’s folly”.  Before then, the area belonged to Russia, and Kamchatka was an important station in the thriving trade that took place between Eurasian Russia and the other side of the North Pacific.  Fish and furs were the main items traded, and one of those fish, the salmon, is soon the figure prominently in our Kyani review.  After the United States came into possession of Alaska, Kamchatka declined in commercial importance, and after the Second World War, the Soviet Union declared it a military zone, a place no one could visit.

After the fall of the Societ Union, Kamchatka became open to visitors, and it has gradually increased in popularity as a tourist destination.  Fishing, hunting, and skiing are among the popular tourist activities in Kamchatka, as well as just enjoying Kamchatka’s beautiful views, its mountains, rivers, geysers, and volcanoes.  Kamchatka is home to over 100 volcanoes, and one of them, Kronotsky, is said to be the most beautiful volcano in the world.

But enough about Kamchatka and its gorgeous volcanoes.  You can’t really enjoy it, anyway, until you pay off all that credit card debt that you racked up by autoshipping fungus coffee to your home.  So let’s get to it.  Let’s address the question that is on everyone’s mind: Is Kyani the MLM business opportunity that will finally give you the financial freedom to visit Kamchatka, or at least to spend the summer playing Risk with your son?

Kyani: The Company and Its Products

The first thing I noticed when I saw the Kyani website is that it is in several languages, all of which seem to be associated with northern climates, very grammatically complex languages, or both.  Kyani products are marketed to speakers of English, Estonian, Finnish, Hungarian, and Norwegian.

Just what are these Kyani products?  Well, there are only three of them, and it is very easy to pinpoint their flagship ingredients.  Kyani Sunrise is a gel (or possibly a drink, it is hard to tell from the Kyani website) sold in pouches.  It boasts an array of super-fruits, include its own flagship ingredient, the Wild Alaskan Blueberry. Perhaps we can enter the Wild Alaskan Blueberry as Miss Alaska in the beauty pageant of super-fruits.  She definitely stands out among all those other red fruits, like the pomegranate and the goji berry.  KyaniNito FX has as its flagship ingredient nitric oxide.  What really interests me, though, is Kyani Sunset, with its flagship ingredient, omega-3 fatty acids derived from the Wild Alaskan Sockeye Salmon.  This is actually where I started my Wikipedia expedition that eventually led to me finding out more than I had ever known about Kamchatka.  I found out that the sockeye salmon got its name from a word in one of the Pacific Northwest languages.  This word is pronounced much like “sockeye”, but means “red fish”, which makes a lot of sense.  You know what it’s like to read Wikipedia; one click leads to another, and eventually I found myself reading the article about Chinook jargon, the pidgin language that had flourished among traders along the North Pacific coast of North America.  This trade pidgin is the source of the English words “potluck” (meaning a feast) and “muckamuck” (among other variations on that word, meaning an important person).

The Kyani Compensation Plan

I can tell right from the get go that one of the things the Kyani compensation plan has going for it is that is says the names of its leadership levels right at the top.  The leadership levels of the Kyani compensation plan are Garnet, Jade, Pearl, Sapphire, Ruby, Emerald, and Diamond.  If you read the fine print, you find out that there are also even higher levels, called Blue Diamond, Green Diamond, Purple Diamond, Red Diamond, Double Red Diamond, Black Diamond, and Double Black Diamond.  and The Kyani website claims that the Kyani compensation plan is not unilevel or binary or stair-step breakaway or any of those other compensation plan models.  There are several legs of downline, but the good news is that you do not only get paid on your weakest one, which is a huge relief to anyone who has ever dealt with a binary MLM compensation plan.  There is a Fast Start bonus for achieving the Jade rank within your first month of joining the Kyani business opportunity.  At the highest leadership levels in the Kyani compensation plan there are the usual bonus pools and luxury car bonuses.

Advantages and Disadvantages


  • The leadership level names in the Kyani compensation plan include some rather off the beaten path gemstone names.


  • Any MLM compensation plan, no matter what it is, makes you swim upstream like a salmon with a ticking biological clock.
  • The Kyani website makes Alaska sound beautiful (I barely had to glance at the thing before visions of Kamchatka started dancing in my head), but once you can get past the whole “right across the Bering Strait from the world’s most beautiful volcano” thing, you realize that blueberries, salmon, and omega-3 fatty acids are available right in your local supermarket. For that matter, so are all the nutrients you might get in Kyani products.  It is the same old story.  All nutraceutical MLMs sell almost the same products in different packaging.  I honestly don’t know why people still go for it.  It would be better for your friendship if you took your friend out to a deli in Miami for a breakfast bagels and smoked salmon, garnished with blueberries, rather than getting entangled in yet another MLM business opportunity.  That is what Kyani is, after all, when you get right down to it.


The Alaska theme is nice, but nutraceuticals are nutraceuticals, and I still think your efforts are best spent elsewhere.  Honestly, the best thing about the Kyani business opportunity is how much I learned about Kamchatka while researching my Kyani review.  I miss the Kamchatka days of my youth.  I think I am going to go call my brothers and the other Brad and see if any of them are available to come over and play Risk.

Who’s up for a road trip to Kamchatka?  Actually, that does sound like it would take a lot of planning.  How about if you just schedule a call with me instead, and we can strategize about how to pay off all those MLM autoship debts once and for all.


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