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Scentsy MLM Compensation Plan Review 2.0

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Introduction to Scentsy MLM Compensation Plan

I have chosen to begin my Scentsy review by mentioning the names of those Scentsy products which are purple.  Note: In case you are lucky enough to have been isolated from the multilevel marketing (MLM) industry your whole life, Scentsy products are scented candles.  (They are a bit different from how you are imagining candles, but more on that subject later.)  Black raspberry vanilla.  Adored.  Piedmont.  Brazilian grapes.  Bora Bora blossom.  Love You Berry Much.  Shimmer.

Why did I begin my Scentsy review by mentioning purple Scentsy products?  Because the Midwest lost one of its beloved sons today.  I am sure there are other blogs out there that have posted better memorials to Prince than this one, but I wanted to do it in a way that I consistent with the mission of Notebook Crazy, which is to review as many MLM companies as possible.  Prince gave the Midwest some of its most interesting shades of purple in his stage costumes, so shiny and electrifying that you could see the purple even in black and white photos.  Sometimes you didn’t even have to have your eyes open to see them.  You could just hear the purple through the radio.

Prince Rogers Nelson (1958-2016) was born in Minneapolis, which is not too far from here.  His songs challenged everything the music industry tried to tell us about music genres.  It drew inspiration from everything from 70s funk and disco to 80s new wave pop and the ostentation and guitar virtuosity of rock music.  His vocal range extended from a growl to a squeak, sometimes in the same measure, and in addition to showing a consistent command of guitars, bass guitar, drums, and keyboards, if there was an instrument he wanted to include in one of his songs, he would learn to play it well enough to play it on stage.  He did this with everything from the saxophone to the harp.  You can read lists of the 100 funkiest bass guitar riffs in history, and “When Doves Cry” outdoes all of them, and it doesn’t even have a bass guitar.  Besides the songs he recorded, he wrote a lot of songs that other people recorded, most notably “Nothing Compares 2 U” by Sinead O’Connor and “Manic Monday” by the Bangles.  His songs managed to offend a lot of people; it was his song “Darling Nikki” that motivated Tipper Gore to campaign for the “Explicit Lyrics” stickers that tried ineffectively to put a damper on the fun kids in the 80s and 90s had with pop music.  He spelled the titles of his songs in ways that could confound all manner of search engine optimization (SEO).  His talents did not end with music.  People who knew him used to say that he was formidable on the basketball court, despite only being 5 foot 2.

But another part of his lasting legacy is his refusal to be a brand.  Anyone who was old enough to read in the early 1990s will remember when, a full two decades before it became easy to type sophisticated emojis, Prince changed his name into an unpronounceable thingamabob that has come to be known as the Love Symbol.  The only way for the media to include his new name in print it was to upload it from a floppy disk and then copy and paste it.  Prince changed his name to something no one could pronounce and only insiders could type; this was how much it disturbed him so much that his name, his real name given to him by his parents, had become a marketing tool earned by someone else.  (There is another layer to this tale of real names and stage names; Prince Rogers was the stage name of Prince’s father.  It was a stage name in one generation and a real name in the next.)

Sure, you can chalk it up to eccentric celebrity behavior, but I think of it as a cautionary tale.  If you don’t believe me, look at the posts you have made on social media, using your real name, the one your parents chose for you, to promote an MLM company that sells low quality, overpriced products just so you can keep your leadership rank and hold onto the hope of getting commissions and bonuses.  Are you being you, or is there an MLM company manipulating you, using your real name.  Don’t you wish you could delete those posts, delete your social media account, even delete your name?

Well, now I’m really sad.  The only thing I can think of that would make me feel worse is thinking about how much money and how many friendships people lose because of MLM business opportunities and their idiotic home sales parties.  No sense in delaying the inevitable, I guess.  Let’s get on with our Scentsy review.

Scentsy: The Company and Its Products

Scentsy

Scentsy products are wickless candles, essentially blobs of scented wax.  You burn them on these candle warmer thingees that consist of a light bulb positioned in such a way that it generates enough heat to melt the wax but not enough to injure anyone who touches it.  It is a reasonable idea, but not an original one.  You can get candle warmers at Wal-Mart or Hobby Lobby or wherever people’s grandmas shop, and they cost a lot less than the ones you buy from Scentsy distributors.  While the wickless candles are the flagship product, Scentsy also sells other pieces of scented wax that are not meant to be melted.  In response to objections that these blobs of wax lose their scent quickly, Scentsy has decided to remedy the situation by selling scented sprays that you can spray on the wax so that it become scented again.  It all seems kind of silly.  Why don’t you just get your own blob of wax (if you don’t have a blob of wax lying around, you can take the melted wax from your birthday cake candles and wash the frosting off of them) and spray it with supermarket air freshener, Glade or Lysol or whatever.

Oh, but it gets worse.  I wouldn’t be too offended if the Scentsy business opportunity consisted of badgering your friends to click your affiliate link and buy some blobs of wax from the Scentsy website.  I’m so desensitized to this whole MLM thing that it would not even really offend me if you had to hound your friends to get them to autoshipScentsy products.  But it is worse than that.  (If you have any experience with MLM< you can probably guess how bad.)  That’s right.  Scentsy distributors are encouraged to host home sales parties in order to market Scentsy products and to recruit other Scentsy distributor.

It appears that the Scentsy business opportunity is available in the United States, Canada, the United Kingdom, Australia, New Zealand, Spain, France, Mexico, Germany, Austria, and Ireland.

The Scentsy Compensation Plan

The Scentsy compensation plan document is not available in any obvious place on the Scentsy website.  I managed to find a rather grainy image of the Scentsy compensation plan on a website made by a Scentsy distributor.  It appears that the leadership levels in the Scentsy compensation plan are Essential Consultant, Certified Consultant, Lead Consultant, Star Consultant, Super Star Consultant, Director, Star Director, and Super Star Director.  Seriously, Scentsy compensation plan?  What about Stinky Blob of Wax, Shapeless Blob of Wax, Melted Blob of Wax, Blob of Wax, Scented Blob of Wax, and Candle.  The Scentsy distributor who posted the compensation plan summary did not explain in prose any of the details of the Scentsy compensation plan, so I have had to draw conclusions about them from reading the image she posted.

It costs $99 dollars to join the Scentsy business opportunity.  I shudder to think how much wax you can buy for $99 in the big wide world outside the MLM industry, and I cannot begin to imagine what one might do with that much wax.  Make an ear candle for an elephant?  Repair some broken marble statues, like they used to do with wax in ancient Rome?  Grow a mustache and wax it Salvador Dali style until I run out of wax?  Team up with an extreme couponer who bought a bunch of unwaxed dental floss and then carefully wax every strand?  Start a cheese making operating out of my basement and encase each wheel of cheese in wax?  Wax every car in my neighborhood?  Try my hand at the lost wax method of making bronze statues?  Make wax sculptures of celebrities and open my own branch of Madame Tussaud’s right her in the Midwest?  Make some lava lamps?  Decorate Easter eggs by coating them in wax, like they do in the Czech Republic and Ukraine?  Wax some skis or a snowboard and find out first hand whether winter sports are actually as much fun as sitting on your keister all winter?  (I doubt it.)  Wax eloquent?

Advantages and Disadvantages

Advantages

  • Scentsy products are not nutraceuticals. They may be overpriced, but at least no one is claiming that they cure cancer.
  • Forget Dirty Dalton. If I ever decide to become an Internet troll, my screen name is going to be My Dear Watson.
  • I am not exactly sure how it accomplished this, but the Scentsy business opportunity managed to strike such a nerve that some Scentsy reviewers finally decided to speak out against not just Scentsy but all the MLMs that target women. I always say that the people who design these female-oriented MLMs either genuinely think that women are conniving simpletons or borrow a page from the reality TV producers’ book by setting up scenarios that present them that way.
  • I have heard some good euphemisms in my life, but “Essential Consultant” is up there.
  • Some of the more disgruntled Scentsy reviewers review to Scentsy as Stinksy, which also is not a bad Internet troll name.

Disadvantages

  • I don’t know if this is a flaw with the Scentsy products themselves or with the Scentsy website, but when I looked at the product selection on my computer or on my phone, it only showed about 10 scents per category. A single bargain bin at Bath and Body Works has more scents than the whole Scentsy website.
  • I know that “quadruple crown diamond barf” has become my default response to all MLM home sales parties, but Scentsy home sales parties are worse than the average quadruple crown diamond barf fest. Some people have as bad an allergic reaction to lavender as they do to peanuts.  Most MLM home sales parties, while unpleasant, do not actually make people barf, but Scentsy home sales parties can do that and worse.

Conclusion

The best thing you can do to give a shout out to our fellow Midwesterner Prince is not to buy purple Scentsy products or purple anything.  The best thing you can do is to follow his example of not letting corporations that only care about the bottom line tell you what to do and take away your identity while profiting from your efforts.  If your dream is to work in the presence of things that smell nice, there are plenty of ways to do it that do not involve MLM.  The Scentsy business opportunity is not the way to avoid another Manic Monday, and neither is any other MLM business opportunity.  Prince was resourceful enough to learn to play 27 different instruments during his 57 years of life.  Certainly you can find some other way to start a business besides MLM.

 

I apologize for this Scentsy review getting posted a little late.  It took me longer to write than I expected.  It took me longer than I expected to find a video of Prince’s original version of “When You Were Mine” on YouTube.  I found lots of covers, some of which were better than others.  This speaks to Prince being hugely influential but also protective of his music.  “When You Were Mine” is my favorite Prince song.  What is yours?  Schedule a call with me, and we can share electrifying purple condolences.

 

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