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Unicity MLM Compensation Plan review 2.0

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 Introduction to Unicity MLM Compensation Plan

Welcome back, everyone.  If you are just joining us for the first time, I am Brad, and this is Notebook Crazy, my blog where I review every multilevel marketing (MLM) business opportunity I can find.  A lot of MLM companies, many more than I care to think about, sell nutritional supplements.  Even if you have somehow been spared the experience of ever having been on the receiving end of an MLM nutritional supplement sales pitch, you can probably imagine how tiresome it is when an acquaintance spouts off a whole bunch of pseudoscience about how this or that MLM nutritional supplement can cure cancer and ADHD whereas the supplements in the supermarket that have the same ingredients but cost a lot less cannot.  That is why I approached my research for this Unicity review with trepidation, since Unicity is yet another one of the multitude of MLMs that deal in nutritional supplements.

As soon as I Googled “Unicity”, my heart sank.  There were the pointless but search engine optimization (SEO) friendly Unicity reviews that extolled the virtues of Unicity products and the Unicity business opportunity while hardly even giving a single concrete about them.  Then I went to the Unicity website, and what I saw gave me a new perspective I have discussed many times before here on Notebook Crazy.

If you read about enough nutraceutical MLMs, you will notice that some of them choose an ingredient which is in some of their products and build their sales pitch around the supposed health benefits of this ingredient.  Much of the time it is a fad superfood from the last few years, such as acai or seaweed (often called “sea vegetables” in the MLM world, either as a euphemism or as a way of keeping kayfabe), and sometimes it is a truly weird ingredient, such as hideous fungi, OK looking fungi (I fell for one of the OK looking fungus MLM schemes about two years ago, but that is a story for another day, or the stinky cheese fruit of the South Seas.  There is even an MLM out there, called Forever Green, that would have you believe that you can get rich by convincing all your friends to drink plankton.  To an observer, the whole phenomenon looks something like a super-fruit beauty contest, when ordinary fruits (and the occasional alga or fungus) gets to display its dubious talents in the hopes of being crowned queen for a day.

Some of the contenders in the super-fruit beauty contest really are pleasing to the eyes.  I have already described, in previous posts here on Notebook Crazy, how the acai berry and the pomegranate lend their rich purple and red tones, respectively, to everything they touch, and they leave a slightly sour taste in your mouth, almost as if to say “Don’t forget that it was me who saved you from getting scurvy when you were otherwise on a years-long junk food binge.”  Some contestants deserve an honorable mention just for their lyrical stage names.  Morinda and noni are both euphemisms for a lumpy, stinky fruit also known as the cheese fruit, which, when cut into sections, looks more like a marginally edible fungus than a fruit and which stinks like stinky cheese.  Royal Tongan Limu was a notorious MLM nutraceutical product from around the turn of the millennium; its name sounds glamorous, but “limu” is a generic term for algae in the Hawaiian language, and the flagship ingredient in Royal Tongan Limu was a certain type of algae that grows off the coast of the Pacific islands.  (Royal Tongan Limu is among the most famous disgraced MLM product; it eventually suffered a fate similar to that of the infamous Atari game based on the movie ET the Extraterrestrial.)  I have always said that, if I were a judge in the super-fruit beauty contest, I would crown as the winner none other than the lovely Miss Mangosteen.  The mangosteen is a tropical fruit, sweet, tart, and subtle, rather like the lychee except drop dead gorgeous in both appearance and taste.  Chefs in New York City vie for just a few of these elusive fruits, but only a few of them have ever brought the sought after mangosteen to their tables, and when they have managed to obtain it, they have charged a princely sum for it.  Yes, if it were up to me, I would have chosen the lovely Miss Mangosteen as the queen of super-fruits.

Until today.  When I looked at the Unicity products on the Unicity website, I realized that the most beautiful, most underrated super-fruit of all has been right here among us, on our supermarket shelves and in our kitchens, all along.

The boxes of some of the Unicity products feature a slice of an orange against a black background.  I have eaten plenty of oranges in my life and drunk plenty of orange juice, but I had never really thought of the orange as being anything special.  But seeing that slice of citrus fruit, with its brilliant vermillion peel and its slightly paler juice vesicles, separated from the peel by a buttercream frosting white pith, was truly a sight for sore eyes.  It was so beautiful that it inspired me to find out more about its family history.  (I suddenly understood why so many of the people who frequent genealogy websites are grandmothers.  Perhaps it is the same feeling; when you see your grandchild, the only way you can think of to response is by finding out as much as you can about his family history.)

It turns out that the citrus fruit family tree is quite complicated.  Almost every citrus fruit we eat is descended in some way from the pomelo, which is native to Southeast Asia (the pomelo is gorgeous in its own way, and while you can sometimes find it in supermarkets in the U.S., it is still exotic enough that I am almost surprised that no MLM company has promoted it as a flagship super-fruit) or from the tangerine, which is native to Morocco.  The latter citrus fruit is named after Tangier, a city that has inspired everyone from Ernest Hemingway to William S. Burroughs to the Rolling Stones.  The sweet orange, the one you probably drank for breakfast this morning, the one depicted in all its glory on the packaging of Unicity products, is a descendant of a cross between a pomelo and a bitter orange.  You and I are familiar with the bitter orange, but we have never eaten it, except in orange marmalade.  We have smelled it many times, however, in cleaning products.  It is even sometimes used in nutritional supplements, as an appetite suppressant, of all things.

The grapefruit has an even more interesting history.  It was the result of an accidental cross-pollination that took place in the 18th century on the island of Barbados.  It is a cross between a sweet orange (the one that I just decided is the underdog winner of our super-fruit beauty contest) and the aforementioned pomelo.  The tangelo, which looks like a Christmas ornament version of an orange, is a cross between a pomelo and a tangerine.  Meanwhile, the Clementine, which, during my childhood, was a luxury fruit that you could only get at Christmas and imported from Spain but is now so widespread that it comes as part of virtually every McDonald’s happy meal, is a cross between a sweet orange and a mysterious fruit called Citrus deliciosa.  The ancestry of C. deliciosa is unclear, and as far as I know, the fruit is not sold commercially in the United States.

Unicity: The Company and Its Products

Unicity

After all this talk about citrus fruits, you would probably expect me to tell you that the Unicity company is headquartered in Florida, as so many other MLM companies are, but in fact, it is not.  Rather, the Unicity business opportunity is based in Utah, which also has a large population of MLM company headquarters, but where citrus fruits, rather than growing in people’s backyards, as they do in Florida, tend to be served suspended in various gelatin desserts.  The Unicity business opportunity has been available since 1972, although the company has merged with several other companies along the way.

The line of Unicity products which captured my imagination with their gorgeous larger than life orange slices is called Balance, which purports to stabilize blood sugar.  (Another thing that stabilizes blood sugar is following a low glycemic index diet, where you avoid eating refined sugars and starches and instead eat fruits and vegetables with lots of dietary fiber, as well as eating animal products.)  Then there is the Matcha product line, which has green tea as its flagship ingredient and claims to give you energy.  Beyond that, the nutraceuticals sound a lot like every other MLM nutraceutical on the market.  There are the protein powders and the dreaded cleanses.

The Unicity Compensation Plan

There is a page called “opportunity” on the Unicity website, but it is mostly fluff, and it contains neither hide nor hair of the Unicity compensation plan.  I was able to find a PDF file of the Unicity compensation plan by searching for it online.  The document is 16 pages long.  The Unicity compensation plan has fast start bonuses, which are bad news, because they cause people to annoy the living daylights out of everyone they know in order to earn the bonus within the timeframe.  The leaderships levels in the Unicity compensation plan are Manager, Senior Manager, Director, Senior Director, Executive Director, Presidential Director, Presidential Sapphire, Presidential Ruby, and Presidential Diamond. There are lifestyle bonuses and bonus pools for the higher levels.  Those kinds of bonuses tend to be bad news, too, because you have to take on huge piles of debt to attain them.

Advantages and Disadvantages

Advantages

  • If you are a longtime reader of Notebook Crazy, you are probably used to me damning MLM nutraceuticals with faint praise by saying that their product packaging is handsome, but I really mean it this time. Unicity products are really something to see.  The packaging of Unicity Balance made me change my mind about the winner of the Miss Super-Fruit beauty contest.  It managed to unseat the lovely Miss Mangosteen.

Disadvantages

  • Some Unicity products are herbal cleanses. I encourage you not to think too carefully about what an herbal cleanse is.
  • The Unicity compensation plan document is not readily available on the Unicity website.
  • Unicity is not a terribly inspired name for an MLM company.

Conclusion

You are not going to get rich through the Unicity business opportunity.  There are so many other things besides Unicity products that one can ingest to improve one’s health.  You know this, and so do the people in your warm market.  If nothing else, the gorgeous orange next door on the packaging of Unicity products should serve as a reminder of how many inexpensive, healthful foods are within your reach if you are fortunate enough to live in a place where you have access to a produce section.  I encourage you to buy an ordinary orange and let it have the same placebo effect as an expensive nutritional supplement, and I promise that it will do its job just as well.  If your local supermarket is up to the task, I encourage you to print this Unicity review and do a scavenger hunt in the supermarket, trying to find the citrus fruits named herein.  It will be an afternoon of inexpensive fun, and even better, unlike the Unicity business opportunity or any other MLM scheme, it will not cause tension in your relationships with your friends or cause overrated MLM merchandise to get autoshipped to your home every month.

You’re right, longtime readers of Notebook Crazy.  It is not every day that I recommend that people give up junk food and follow a low glycemic index diet.  I guess I’ve really got it bad for the orange next door.  Why don’t you schedule a call with me and talk some sense into me, tell me to pull myself together and go back to snarking about healthy diets?

 

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